Memories
by Calleigh's little girl
Summary: When a case hits a bit too close to home for Elle the others are getting worried,especially Hotch.When he visits her at her place to check on her their feelings get the better of them...Chapter 5 is finally up!Please R&R!ElleHotch
1. Just another case

**Discs.: I don't own the show or its characters.**

**A/N: My newest fanfic. It takes place some time after "A real rain" and deals with the death of Elle's dad (at least at the beginning) and with the mixed feelings of two of our favorits profilers...**

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**Memories**

_1.Just another case_

Two days ago they had been called into an investigation in Charleston, West Virginia. A serial-killer was murdering men who worked for the law-enforcement. But now they had also to find the fifteen year old daughter of the last victim who vanished one day earlier.

They all had noticed that something was wrong with Elle. She was pretty quiet and had gone back to her behavior from when she had started working with the BAU – she was impatient as hell to solve the case.

In a quiet moment Hotch approached her.

"Hey Elle, may I have a word with you?" He looked at her and when she saw his eyes she knew that there was no way to avoid that conversation.

"Okay…"

They went to one of the offices of the local Police Department to be able to talk in privacy.

"Well, what's the matter, Hotch?"

He looked at Elle, let out a heavy sigh and answered :

"Actually, I could ask you that question…"

"What do you mean?!"

"Calm down, okay? You're not yourself since we work on this case."

"I'm fine, Hotch!" Elle interrupted him.

"Listen Elle, all I'm saying is that I'm there if you need someone to talk with – and that I would understand if you need a break…" He looked at her.

"Thanks, but I don't need any of it!" With that she turned around and left.

Hotch kept standing in the same spot and took a deep breath before following Elle back to the others.

_Tbc_

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_**A/N: I hope you guys liked it, I will update soon...Please take the time to review!** _


	2. Please talk to me

**Discs.:I don't own CM or its characters...**

**A/N: Second chapter of my newest fanfic...**

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**Memories**

_2.Please talk to me_

One day later they had caught the UnSub, but unfortunately they were not able to stop Sarah – the daughter of the last victim- from killing herself.

Elle had kept up her odd behavior even after they had closed the case and Hotch was horrible worried about her. Especially after ha saw the expression in her eyes when she had left – they were filled with pain, and something else he couldn't put a finger on yet…

After he had finished his paperwork and he was driving out of the parking-lot, his cell phone started ringing.

It was Haley, who wanted to know when he was going to come home. He told her he was already on his way home.

When he had to halt at a stoplight his mind went back to the last days, to Elle's strange behavior and the way she had looked when she left the office. He suddenly changed his mind when the stoplight turned green and drove into the direction of Elle's place – forced by an immense inner need and unbelievable worry.

_Fifteen minutes later :_

When Hotch had reached his destination, he stayed in his car for a short moment before getting out and walking up to her front-door. After Hiotch had rung the bell it didn't took long before Elle opened.

"What are doing here?" It was obvious that Elle was pretty surprised – but also quite annoyed – by the late visit.

A moment passed before Elle stepped aside and whispered :

"Come in…"

He smiled softly at her, then he followed her to her living-room. It took him only a few seconds to take in the sight of the room. There were standing some empty some empty bottles on the table – pretty strong stuff- only one glass. He looked around and realised that Elle had certainly also a good taste when it came to decorating her home, only then he realized that Elle had left the room.

A few seconds later she came back – with a second glass and a bottle tequila. She poured some of the content of the bottle into the glass on the table.

"Have a seat…" After Hotch had sat down next to her she went on :

"Do you want a drink?"

He declined, Elle just shrugged and stretched out her hand to lift her glass to her lips. Hotch lifted his hand and got a hold of her right arm.

"Don't…Elle listen to me, I know there's something wrong with you. Please talk to me, Elle…"

He looked her straight into the eyes and saw the sorrow in them.

"We both know this case has really gotten to you. Please open up to me."

She looked at him a sad smile on her lips, then she just said two words : "My dad…"

_Tbc_

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_**A/N: Hope you liked it! Please update, I'm going to update soon...** _


	3. Amazing Grace

**Discs.: I don't own the show nor the characters...**

**A/N: I finally had the time to write the third chap on the pc - It wasn't read by any beta yet...**

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**Memories**

_3.Amazing Grace_

"He died when I was eight...The morning before he died we had argued - About a stupid and totally childish matter...He had promised to show me how to ride my bike, but then he had to work..."

_Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound_

_That saved a wrath like me_

_I once was lost, but now am found_

_Was blind, but now can see _

"I still remember when one of his colleagues and best friends came over that evening and told us he was dead...After the funeral I couldn't get this sound out of my head..."

_'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear_

_And grace my fears relieved_

_How precious did that grace appear_

_The hour I first believed_

"...Whereever I went, whatever I did, I heard the sound of the music from the funeral and the shots - even during the night when I was asleep..."

_Through many dangers, toils and snares,_

_I have already come;_

_'Tis hath me safe thus far,_

_And grace will lead me home_

_And when we've been there ten thousand years_

_Bright shining as the sun_

_We'll have no less days to sing God's praise_

_Than when we first begun_

"And the worst thing was what I said to him...I still feel bad about the last conversation we had. I said I hated him - only because I was disappointed...And this case reminded me in some way of all of it..."

Elle looked at Hotch, trying to fight back her tears, but she failed. Hotch pulled Elle's sobbing form close to him, she clung to him as if her life depended on it and he hold her tight, stroking her back.

When Elle's sobs had subsided, Hotch released her from his embrace, then he lifted his left hand and wiped away the traces of her tears.

"Sorry" Elle glanced at Hotch, embarrased by the fact that she had let her emotions get the better of her - especially in front of her boss.

"You don't have to be sorry, about this..." He only smiled at her with obvious understanding.

"I should better leave now..."

They looked at each other for a moment, before they got up and went to front-door.

When they reached the door, they kept standing there for a while looking at each other and without thinking Elle leaned up and kissed him. Hotch stepped back and forced himself to say - even if very quietly :

"Don't...Elle..."

But she silenced him with another kiss. After a short moment Hotch gave in and responded to her kiss with the same passion.

They started to undress each other while going to her bedroom.

_Tbc

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_**A/N: I'm going to update soon again...Hope you enjoyed reading - and please take the time to review!**


	4. Mixed feelings

**Discs.: I don't own CM or its characters!**

**A/N: Well, I just had time to copy this chap onto the PC and to post it. It wasn't corrected by my beta so I'm sorry for any remaining mistakes...**

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Memories**

_4. Mixed feelings_

Hours later when they were lying next to each other and Elle had fallen asleep, Hotch started to really get aware of what he had just done. He felt bad for cheating on his wife, but what made him feel even worse, was the fact that the guilt he was feeling because he had cheated on Haley was negligible - compared to the guilt and regret he was feeling when he realized that this was only an one-night-stand - there was no way this could become more - but even worse was the fact that this one night could ruin their working-relationship, or even their friendship.

He glanced at Elle, she was looking so beautiful and peaceful right then - he had noticed how gorgeous she was the moment he first saw her. Hotch put one of his arms around her slender waist and pulled her closer. Not much later he had fallen asleep.

_The next morning :_

When Elle woke up, Hotch was already awake and looked at her. They smiled at each other and, following an impulsive need, he bent down and gave her a soft kiss onto her forehead. She looked up at him and asked quietly :

"You're still here?"

He smiled down at her and replied :

"Seems that way..."

They got up, put on their clothes and went to the kitchen to get some coffee.

An half hour later they got up from the kitchen-table and went to the door.

Before Hotch left he gave Elle a last kiss and whispered :

"I see you at the office..."

They smiled once again at each other and then he left.

_Twenty-five minutes later, at Hotch's place :_

When he came home, Haley came from the kitchen. She didn't gave him time to say anything, she instantly started :

"Where have you been all night?! I was god-damn worried about you...Why haven't you answered your cell?"

"I'm sorry honey...A friend of mine needed me, I forgot the time...I guess, my cell-phone run empty - I'm really sorry, I should have called you, to tell you that I would come home late..."

"May I remind you of the fact that you haven't come home at all?"

Haley looked angrily at her husband, but after a moment her facial expression changed to a sad one.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you - it's just only that I was horrible worried, I mean, you had said you were already on your way home, when I called you last night...And then you didn't came...I thought something happened to you..."

Haley's eyes welled up with tears and Hotch drew her in an embrace, while telling her that he was sorry.

"It's only that I love you - and I couldn't live with loosing you..."

Suddenly all came back to Hotch's mind. He kept wondering what consequences this night could have.

_Over half an hour later :_

When Hotch arrived at the office the others were already sitting in the conference-room, waiting for him.

"Sorry, I know I'm late..."

He looked around and noticed that one of his agents wasn't there, so he asked .

"Where's Elle? Isn't she in, yet?"

"No, she only went to get herself another coffee - the tenth in the last half hour, if I'm not mistaken. - You know, she is acting even more weird than in the last few days..." Morgan replied.

In that moment Elle entered the room and they started the briefing.

After a while Gideon asked her for her opinion concerning the sexual aspect of the crimes. But Elle didn't reacted, so Gideon asked :

"You wanna share your thoughts about the case?"

She lifted her head and told him :

"No! There is actually nothing I'd rather do than _not _thinking at all..."

"Didn't I said, she behaves totally strange..." Morgan grinned.

Elle only glared at him.

A few minutes more passed before they left for their plane. Hotch wondered what Elle was thinking about. he had noticed as well that she seemed lost in her thoughts.

_Tbc_

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**A/N: Hope you liked it and that there were not that many mistakes in it...Please take the time to let me know your opinion!**


	5. Do you regret it

**Discs.: I don't own CM nor its characters!**

**A/N: Here is finally the update! Hope you are going to enjoy it!**

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Memories

_5. Do you regret it?_

_On the plane :_

Hotch sat down next to Elle. For a moment they were both silent then Hotch asked :

"You're okay?"

They looked at each other and he added, "Hangover?"

When he saw the expression on her face he smirked.

"I certainly learned my lesson."

Elle smiled softly at him.

"That's good to hear."

_At the hotel, 11 pm :_

After they had worked all day at the local Field Office without finding any new leads Hotch had decided to give his team and himself a break.

So they had gone to an Italian restaurant for dinner and their mood had lightened a bit when they left the restaurant to get to their hotel.

Elle was sitting in her room lost in her thoughts when someone knocked against her door. She got up and went to open the door.

When she opened it she was surprised to see Hotch standing in front of her.

"Hey." She smiled at him.

"Hey yourself..."

He looked at her, an unreadable expression on the face.

"What's up?" Elle gave him a questioning glance.

"I think we need to talk."

"Come in." She went further into the room.

After Hotch had closed the door she turned around and looked at him. He walked up to her for a moment they both were silent and she tried to figure out what he was thinking.

"So, what is it?"

"About what happened last night..."

"Do you regret it?"

Elle looked at him, they locked eyes and kept quiet for a moment.

"It was certainly a mistake that should never have happened, I mean, I'm married and I'm your boss...Yeah, I regret it and I'm going to feel even worse..."

"Why?" Elle looked questioning at him.

"That's why..."

Hotch closed the space between them and kissed her. After a moment of surprise Elle responded to it with the same passion. They started undressing each other and went to the bed.

_Several hours later :_

When they lay next to each other Hotch pulled Elle closer to him. She turned to him and kissed her softly. He lifted his right hand and let his fingers slide through her hair. After a moment she leaned in and kissed him.

"Listen, I should better go."

They looked at each other.

"No. Please, stay. Don't go, yet..."

"Elle..."

"It's still very early..."

Hotch sighed.

"Okay."

They smiled at each other. Then Hotch put an arm around her and drew her closer to him. Not much later they had fallen asleep.

_A few hours later :_

It was already getting light when Hotch and Elle woke up.

"Hey..." Elle smiled at him.

"Morning..." He smiled back, then he leaned in and kissed her softly.

His cell phone started ringing. Hotch sighed and answered the call.

"Hotchner." He sat up and listened.

When he hung up he let his head drop.

"What is it?" Elle looked worried at him.

"Haley..." He turned his head and glanced at her,

"God, what am I even doing here?" They locked eyes,

"It shouldn't be so goddamn easy for me to be with you...I mean, sure I feel bad for cheating on Haley, but on the other hand I'm not sure if it won't happen again..."

Hotch let out a heavy sigh,

"I should really go now..."

Elle only nodded. Hotch got up, dressed and left to shower and change his clothes.

_At Hotch's room :_

While he got ready for work he kept thinking about Elle. He regretted what had happened between them. But still she was the most present thing on his mind. He let out a heavy sigh, he couldn't believe what he had gotten himself into.

When his cell phone started ringing he was relieved to be interrupted in his train of thought.

"Hotchner."

"Hey it's me. We might have a lead..." Gideon told him.

"Thanks. Can you inform the others?"

"Sure."

"Okay. Tell them that we meet in ten minutes in the lobby."

After they had ended the conversation Hotch let out a sigh, then he prepared himself for getting to the local FBI office.

When he arrived in the lobby he was glad to see that his colleagues were already waiting for him. The moment he saw Elle he was once again lost in his thoughts. He knew he had to do something about it, but truth been told he had no clue _what _he should do...

_At the local Field Office :_

When they arrived at the office Hotch went first of all to get himself some coffee, while the rest of the team went already to the conference room to get started with working on the case-files they had been waiting for.

As he finally entered the room he sat down on the only free chair at the table for six persons.

Gideon was sitting at the one end of the table with Reid sitting to his left and JJ to the right. Next to JJ sat Morgan, Elle was sitting next to Reid - leaving only the chair at the other end of the table - between Morgan and Elle...

Hotch took one of the files from the pile in the middle of the table, opened it and started to read. But it didn't take him long to realize that it was pointless.

After another moment the file in front of him was forgotten when he had read the same sentence for like the twentieth time - or to be more exactly - had tried to do so...

He was simply incapable of concentrating on the task at hand with Elle sitting so damn close to him. He smelt the scent of her perfume mixed with the ones of her shampoo and bodylotion.

He looked at Elle and felt the almost unbearable longing for her when all of a sudden memories of the past two nights rushed back to his conscious mind; images of her, the sound of her voice, the taste of her lips, her smiles which made her eyes sparkle, the way she looked at him when she asked if he regretted it - everything...

He had sought her out the night before - he shouldn't have but he did nontheless...Sure he had told her he wanted to talk but to him it had been clear from the moment he had left his room and went to hers that he wanted her - _needed_ her.

He felt how his eyelids started to get heavy and lifted his cup of coffee to his lips, the moment he had taken a sip of it he made a face - it had gotten completely cold...So he got up and went to get a new cup of coffee.

Hotch took his time for getting back...As he was on his way back he got once more lost in his thoughts and bumped straight into Morgan, who had went to search for him. The impact caused Hotch to spil the steaming hot content of his cup over his hands.

"Damn!" Hotch turned around.

He put the mug down next to the sink, then he hurried to turn on the faucet and let the icy water run over his hands.

"You're okay?"

Morgan asked not really expecting a reaction, given the fact that he, as well as everyone else on the team, had noticed how unconcentrated their boss was.

Hotch turned off the water, turned toward Morgan and gave him a questioning glance.

"You sort of seem as if something bothers you, you seemed lost in your thoughts ever since we left the hotel..."

"Just didn't get enough sleep lately..." Hotch trailed off.

Then he refilled his cup another time and went together with Morgan back to the conference room.

After sitting down again Hotch forced himself to focus his complete attention on his work - ignoring the thoughts and emotions Elle's proximity evoked in him. And it worked better than he had thought - until Gideon, who had decided to take the lead for some time, started giving assignments...

"Reid and JJ you two stay here and keep looking through the case files. Morgan you come with me to the first scene - I can't shake the feeling we're might missing something...Hotch and Elle could you talk with the guy who might have witnessed the first murder?"

Everybody nodded in agreement. Hotch let out a sigh while getting up and following Elle outside the building. They went to one of the black SUVs which had been rent for the team in perfect silence.

After he sat down on the driver's seat Hotch let out another sigh as he started the engine. That guy they were supposed to question was living far out of town and Hotch wasn't looking forward to the two hours ride ahead of him. - Two hours during which he was going to be stuck right next to Elle without any possibility to escape in case it was getting too much to handle for him.

Every now and then Hotch glanced at Elle. While waiting for a stoplight to turn to green he turned his head toward her, taking in her appearance. She was wearing a pair of blue jeans and a bright red top - he loved it when she was wearing red clothes - her brown hair was framing her face in soft waves.

When the stoplight turned finally green he focused his attention back onto the street. Still it was such a tough task for him - almost impossible to manage - given the fact that the only thing he was able to smell was Elle.

The fragrances of her pefume - D&G, light blue, he had seen the vial standing on the vanity in her bedroom; her vanilla shampoo and raspberry bodylotion, combined with the sweet odor of her own made up such a wondeful scent - it was so intoxicating - so Elle; it brought back the momeries, the images...

After maybe a half hour he was unable to take it any longer and he opened all four windows of the car to let in a little breeze - in the need for fresh air. But that alone wasn't enough to suppress the rising longing nor did it help getting his head free from his naughty thoughts.

Elle stared out of the window, when Hotch opened them, she took in a deep breath. She had tried to get what happened between her and Hotch out of her mind ever since he had left her apartment the previous morning. Yet it was everything she was able to think about.

As the memories rushed back Elle closed her eyes for a second. She remembered the soft touch of his lips against hers, the way he had touched and caressed her skin, his voice, the scent of his aftershave...

Hotch stated all of a sudden : "Listen Elle, I need a break..."

They looked at each other and she nodded. As soon as he was able he took a turn to the right driving down an abandoned path into the surrounding woods.

Only a short moment later Hotch stopped the car and hurried to get out. He took in some deep breaths, enjoying the fresh, cool air.

A few minutes later he sat down on the driver's seat and looked at Elle. She looked right back, a gorgeous smile on her lips.

When he saw her facial expression he realized that it was pointless to keep fighting the longing. He turned further to her, lifted his left hand and caressed softly her cheek.

Elle closed her eyes as she felt the soft touch against her skin. When Hotch leaned in and kissed her, she responded with the same passion.

She turned as far as possible toward him, he stretched out his right hand and put it on her waist. He drew her closer, deepening the kiss further, then he moved his left hand also to her waist and started to lift her top.

Elle broke their kiss and looked at him :

"Hotch, do you really think this is a good idea? I mean, what if someone sees us?"

"Even _if _someone comes here and sees us - which is pretty unlikely - who cares?- Not me..."

He smirked at her and closed the little space between them. A moment later he deepened the kiss and pulled off her shirt.

Only a short moment passed before she started to undress him as well.

As they climbed on the backseat, the adrenaline kicked in - the thrill of the possibility to be caught arousing them both even more...

_At the place of the witness :_

When Elle and Hotch finally arrived at their destination they let both out a heavy sigh and switched into work mode.

They rang the bell and Hotch said : "FBI, open up..."

A thud was heard from the inside of the house, they looked at each other and Elle mused :

"Seems someone has some dirty secrets..."

They both drew their guns and Hotch signaled her he would take the back, Elle nodded.

_At the Field Office :_

"What took you so long?" Gideon asked as Hotch and Elle approached the rest of the team.

"Davis decided to try to run - we were able to catch him. And while looking through his stuff we got pretty sure that he isn't a witness but the UnSub himself. Now all we need to do is to wait for confirmation. - We would have called - but our cell phones lost service right after we called the police and CSU. And Davis' phone didn't work." Hotch explained.

"Okay..." Gideon stated.

_Two hours later :_

They had been proven right - Davis was the killer. Now that the case was closed the team was on the way back home.

Reid and Gideon were playing chess, while Morgan, JJ and Elle played cards. Hotch sat in one corner of the plane lost in his thoughts.

He knew it had been wrong to let his feelings get the better of him - especially while working. It had been completely unprofessional what happened during the day...

He should be stronger, he should be able to resist the temptation - to keep himself from losing control like in the last time...

Hotch closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again he glanced at Elle. She was laughing as well as Morgan and JJ.

A moment later she became quiet again, as if she felt that he watched her she turned her head toward him and their eyes met. After a few seconds they broke eye-contact and she focused her attention back on playing cards.

Hotch let out a sigh, he knew he should try to get Elle out of his mind - but it was impossible, he just couldn't help it...

_Tbc_

**A/N: Hope you liked it - please take the time to REVIEW!!**


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